Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The "I can't stop looking for jobs" disease

I graduated in May of 2009, it's currently January, 2012. Roughly 1000 days have passed between graduation and the present and I can say without hesitation that aside from days when I have been on vacation, I have looked for a job every day!

Immediately following graduation was like the Black Friday hunt for jobs, everyone wanted one and wanted it NOW! It was vicious and cutthroat. Every man for himself. I combed the job boards, I pounded the pavement and in mid-October ended up in a seasonal retail position. Knowing I needed more, I continued to search.

Eventually I scored the most amazing experience of my life... An internship in NYC. While I loved it, truly loved it, 89 dollar a month stipend was not enough to sustain life... The search continued.

In August of 2010 I was hired first real full-time job. So much rejoicing and congratulating yet deep down I knew something was wrong. I knew I was destined for hell with this job. That From the very first day I started at Company E, I was still looking for other employment. Well, my hunch was right, that slightly less than a year of employment with Company E was the worst year of my life. Despite my amazing relationship and life outside of work I was sinking deeper and deeper into depression. I prayed every day that something else ANYTHING else would come along.

Cue Company F. Company F offered me part-time employment with the chance to move into full time. Eager for an escape I took it. And while I was happier, the job search continued to find a way to supplement the income I was now lacking.

Present day: I have been full time with Company F since June. I am happier. The job is better. The environment is better. And even though I wish I made more money ( who doesn't?), I'm not sure how many job offers would look better than this one. Yet every day I am constantly on the job boards. I spend more time on them then I do facebook. I'm beginning to wonder if I've fallen into an endless cycle. Will I every be happy enough with a job to stop looking? Or will the idea of something better constantly take over my life?

No comments:

Post a Comment